(Editor’s note: Nex fell down a well. Apparently, Portland is full of wells. In place of his usual weekly slice of random, we, the Board of Directors behind Destructoid.com, have replaced his column with a local television listing for your home market. Enjoy, and please, click on some of the ads on this site. Without your support, we won’t be able to afford this mound of cocaine. — The Boardtoid)
FOX – 8:00PM – The SimpsonsHomer discovers the corpse of Jimmy Hoffa in Springfield Gorge, and takes Bart with him as he flees from the mob. Includes references to Jem and the Holograms and M.A.S.K. Special guest stars: Joe Pantoliano, Chaz Palmenteri
MTV – 8:00PM – Punk’dSeries Finale! Ashton Kutcher and co. attempt to convince Henry Rollins that his favorite shirt has been stolen. Ashton clubbed to death with his own spine. Special guest stars: Bam Margera, Jello Biafra
THE HISTORY CHANNEL – 8:00PM – Secrets of the Third ReichEpisode explores Himmler’s fascination with the occult resulting in the phocanthropicSealwaffen. Special guest stars: James Earl Jones, Knut the polar bear
FOOD NETWORK – 8:00PM – The Naked ChefJamie Oliver demonstrates the dangers of cooking with hot oil. Special guest stars: NYFD Burn Unit, Charles de Gaulle
ESPN – 8:00PM – SportscenterFor description, see 7:00PM, 9:00PM listing.
ESPN2 – 8:00PM – World Series of BocciFranco “Soldi Calvi” Bennizio versus Earnesto “Asino Bello” Granchio in the Semi-Final round. Only on The Deuce! Special guest stars: Chris Isaak, Michael Stipe
E! – 8:00PM – Talk SoupTyra Banks is fat, Paris Hilton is a whore, Flava Flav is a goblin. Host Joel “I can’t believe it’s not Hal Sparks” McHale. Special guest stars: Henry Kissinger, the ghost of Richard Nixon
Wow. The Boardtoid is so …conceptual. Anyway, let’s get to what the editors have been playing. I have to find a way to tunnel out of here. — Nex
Niero:This week I’ve taken the opportunity to reacquaint myself withSymphony of The Night; quite possibly the world’s most gorgeous 2D video game ever made. In the past I typically play all weekend and stop myself until I flip the castle and lose interest, but with the new achievements in place I might go that extra sleep-deprived mile and wrap it up. Its amazing how well this game has held up despite being over 10 years old. I’m glad quasi sequels found a viable market on handhelds. I’ve also got a pile of older games from GameFly sitting on my TV:Dead Rising,Phantasy Star Online, and something else. Meh. Old man robot is feeling old school lately.Time Pilot, anyone?
Nex:I spent most of the last five months jealous about the release ofGuitar Hero 2on the PS2. I was purposely avoiding it in anticipation of the 360 version, and now that it’s finally here, I’ve spent all week mangling my hands on that guitar. The game is everything I’d hoped for and more, and my only disappointment is that there’s no downloadable content yet.
Red Octane, if you include Sponge’sPlowedas DLC, I promise to never have sex with your wives.
Nick Brutal:I’m playingGuitar Hero II(360) of course, when I get the time. Working my way through the harder difficulties ofElite Beat Agents, too. Really, that’s it right now.
Pretty sad.
Grim:I’ve been playing nothing butGuitar Hero II. Since I never owned the PS2 version, chances are I’m not going to get bored with this game anytime soon.
Robert Summa:I feel like I am finally back to normal after months of constant transition. Because of that, I now play video games again, yay! I’ve been playing theShadowrunbeta (which is hawt) and been trying to understand how in the hell to playC&C.
I finally gotBullet Witchsent to me, so I guess I’ll see what all the hate is about for this game.
Dick McVengeance:Now that I’ve beatenLunar Knights, I can put my DS away until summer break (all my other games are at home). For the remainder of my time here, I hope to finally get past The Magnificent Five inViewtiful Joeand maybe beatRed Steelalready.
hushgush:I’ve developed two possibly unhealthy obsessions this week: making all my earring holes a few gauges bigger, and beating everyone’s score inGeometry Wars. I cannot explain either of them. I’m also playingChocobo Taleson DS. Yeah, that’s right, you heard me.
Nagiko:Trauma Center.Trauma Center.Trauma Center.
Obsession FTW.
RevAnthony:Out of absolutelynowhere, I’ve developed a random desire to replaySid Meier’s Pirates. OnceSuper Paper Mariocomes out I’ll probably kick it to the curb, but I’ll be buckling swashes for the next few days.
Faith:I’ve been playing thatChick Chick Boomflash game by Nintendo andFinal Fantasy Fables: Chocobo Tales– KWEH!
