I hear that you’re all watching some bowl of soup in America or something, while we honest Britons do important things like using the Internet, looking at the Internet, and watching videos on the Internet. Because nobody’s reading right now, I can get away with saying things like “bum” and “nipples” on the front page.

That felt good, but playing games makes me feel even better. It’s that time again, where the Destructoid staff tells us what they’ve been playing this week. I really can’t think of anything else to say, but who cares? Nobody’s actually reading this, so I’m getting away with wasting time on the frontpage of a big gaming blog. I can’t believe I tricked these bum nipples into hiring me.

Hell is Us gameplay reveal

Also, the jump. Hit it.

Jonathan Holmes (through Suffolk he roams):With all theBrawlnews to filter through this week, it’s been tough to get to the actual playing of the videogames. Other than a littleNo More Heroes(for the alt ending) and a littleEndless Ocean(becauseChad’s reviewwas so awesome), I haven’t played a game all week.

DAMN YOU, NON-STOP BRAWL NEWS FLOOD!

Topher Cantler (I’ve touched his antlers):I’ve been playing lots ofOMG Tomopop is launching, which everyone else will finally be able to play this week. In the meantime, I’ve been enjoyingCastle of Shikigami 2,Trigger Heart Exelica,Radirgy, andMars Matrixon Dreamcast, andRez HDon 360. Also, I totally missed contributing to this post the last couple of times andno one noticed. I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

Nick Chester (he’s like Uncle Fester):Doom RPG,PixelJunk Monsters,Assassin’s Creed,Burnout Paradise(both PS3 and 360),Rock Band, and the game where I unpack stuff I’ve moved from one house to another.

Black Ops 6 Season 5 Multiplayer Ransack Mode

Colette Bennett (reads books by Sennett):I’m replayingChrono Trigger. It’s flawless. This was briefly interrupted by a short stint withNiGHTS: Journey of Dreams, in which I discovered NiGHTS can talk. I NEVER WANTED NiGHTS TO TALK! THANKS FOR RUINING MY ILLUSION HE WAS MUTE, YOU C*NTS! Although the levels are fun, the cut scenes are made for an 8 year old. I feel cheated somehow.

Chad Concelmo (tickled my Elmo):Retro week! Besides watchingPuppy Bowl IV(best show EVER!), I played someShining Force, theShinobitrilogy,Super Mario Bros. 3,Devil’s Crush,Air Zonk,1080 Snowboarding, Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga, andRatchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction. I know those last two aren’t retro, but … shhhhh … quiet time.

Tekken Tag Tournament 2: a black and white Jin and Heihachi stand back-to-back.

Faith (a wraith):Oh joy of joys!  I got a new computer this week and finally have the system requirements I need to playWorld of Warcraft. Bloody game took a whole day almost to install though. Between the actual game install and the three patch updates that took like 9 hours to download, I spent most of my day playing other games and watching TV.

Worst of all, I found out that I have to buy a new copy of the game, because once my trial time runs out, my used copy’s authorization code won’t allow me to upgrade my account to a normal one. Good thing I got the game for free from a friend or I would be really annoyed right now. He didn’t know and neither did I.

PEAK Bing Bong plushie

Also this week I’ve playEndless Oceanon the Nintendo Wii,Cooking Mama 2andFinal Fantasy XIIon the Nintendo DS,Chess Master,Puzzle QuestandCarcassonneon XBLA and,Paper Marioon the Virtual Console.

Hamza Aziz (rhymes with as is?):I’ve been playing the new ranked Big Team Battles onHalo 3. Also, I borrowed my little cousin’s DS to playMario and Sonic At the Olympicsto prevent myself from falling asleep at the family party last night.

Silent Hill f: a woman’s face covered in blossoming but deadly looking flowers.

Joseph Leray (you ALL thought “gay,” stop pretending you didn’t):I’ve been barreling throughPersona 3. It is, without a doubt, one of the best RPGs I’ve ever played in my life. Other than that, a littlePhantom Hourglasson the road, andRock Bandwith friends.

P.S. Deep Purple can go straight to hell.

BlindsideDork (eats with a spork):I picked up my copy ofTurokon Thursday and beat it Friday. The weekend found me plunging into the multiplayer which actually had me craving to play more while I was playingTeam Fortress 2. Now that is a tough task…it screams YES PLEASE!

Oh, and of course someNo More Heroes/Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wingsaction is always welcomed!

Mei NERF gun in OW2

TheGoldenDonut (he’s a G-Pro nut):Not a whole lot this week; mostly just making some progress inUncharted: Drake’s FortuneandCastlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles.

GameBoi (straight to wok with Amoy):I’ve been going through theDevil May Crygames again, in preparation forDMC4. By the way, who is the new poser you play as in the demo? DANTE FTW!

Battlefield 6 vehicles combat

HuskyHog (he’s the man now, dog):Been busy with a lot of things this week, haven’t had much time to get my game on. I did, however, get the chance to play a littleRock Bandwith a few community members, there’s nothing like getting a full band together.

Jim Sterling (not as good as Burling):After a bout of insomnia, I went and bought Koei’sFatal Inertiaat a cheap price. In my sleepless state, I deemed it to be good, and it was at first. Now it’s actively ruining my life and I regret saying nice things. Still, not long untilDW6comes … not long … not long. I also gotRez HD, but the third boss can c*nt off out of it.

Several men standing and watching at an explosion in the distance in Battlefield 6.

Otherwise, the usual suspects —Guitar Hero III,Call of Duty 4and a littleWarriors Orochi.

Joe Burling (better than Sterling):I’ve been knocking little sister holes. That’s right, I’m talking aboutBioshock(my choice for GOTY), only this time I’m saving little sisters and playing on hard. Then there isSuper Mario Galaxy(some of your choices for GOTY), which has found a special place close to my heart right next to Gameboi and Cheeburga. Other than that, I’ve been picking through demos on the XBLM. Also, by the time you read this I may have already beatenPhoenix Wright Trials and Tribulations. I should have my new motherboard sometime this week so once I get everything up and running you’ll be seeing a lot more of me. (I miss you all!) I’ve also been thinking about picking upFable, which I’ve never played.

BO7 key art

What have YOU ‘orrible lot been playing?

yordles animation still image