In its continuing quest to become Sony circa 2007, Microsoft has now declared rumble to be a rudimentary, archaic, outdated form of controller feedback. With his tongue wedged firmly up Kinect’s invisible arse, Kudo Tsunoda has declared that moving around is far greater than feeling a vibration in your hand, and if you disagree, then your position is “laughable.”

“… Even people playing games with a controller, there’s always people doing this [mimes driving motion]. They want to be moving.,” claims the Microsoft producer. “There’s natural movements and reactions involved. I’ve never seen someone doing that from rumble. It’s the audiovisual stuff.

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“The overwhelming thing we’ve discovered is that rumble is such a rudimentary form of haptic feedback. It’s not like a little rumble in your palm is your whole way of interacting with the world — it’s not like, oh, I stubbed my toe and I get a little rumble in my palm.

“It’s almost laughable the way people hold on to rumble as the holy grail of haptic feedback. We’ve gone so far past anything that can be done with rumble, or that kind of restrictive thing you have to hold. It’s been creatively liberating to work on this stuff.”

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So there you have it. Controllers are f*ckingpathetic, whereas Kinect is the salvation of videogames as we know it. No one comes to the Father save through Microsoft … sorry, that should be MicroSony.

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