I’m hijacking the Nintendo Download from Chris this week because, dammit, you are all in danger!Commando: Steel Disaster($7.99 on DSi or 3DS) may look like a fairly inoffensiveMetal Slugclone, but don’t be fooled! I played this festering pile of ass back in my days as a regular ol’ community member and wrote a lengthyarticledetailing its insurmountable shortcomings. If you don’t wish to read my admittedly lengthy word dump, allow me to summarize.
Commando: Steel Disasterwas developed by a Chinese cell phone software company that had the gall to assume that its techniques would directly translate to portable console development. You only get one life to clear any of the unbelievable long levels, enemy variety is blander than a gallon of plain yogurt, your shield power-ups don’t always work, and the only good song in the entire game wasstolenfromGundam Wingon the Super Famicom! And could the OFFICIAL trailer be any damn blurrier?
The rest of this week’s update isn’t much, but it’s gold compared toCommando. On the eShop, you can downloadTouch Battle Tank 3D($4.99) or a discountedSuper Mario Land 2($2.99 until next Wednesday). You can also watch aWarp Cannon hint videoforNew Super Mario Bros. 2or someOlympic highlightsanimated entirely out of LEGO bricks. Finally, for the Wii, there’sReal Bout Fatal Fury Special(900 Wii Points) and a month-long trial ofHulu Plus.
